Tuesday, December 4, 2012

signing into the real world.

as i pushed the "submit" button, i didnt imagine i'd soon be laying on the floor in my room, staring at the ceiling thinking, 'what the heck have i done.'

i applied at a place that isnt exactly "me". i'm embarrassed to say where. if i get the job, i'll say. but if i dont, we can all just forget about it.

i was thinking earlier this week that i should probably call the manager just to 'follow up' and whatnot, but then i thought, "oh no no no...what if i get the job?!" i'm really not going to say where i applied, but i'll give you a hint. i cant walk into the store, much less consume their products without getting very sick.

so there i was. with my two dominicans next to me, one yelling at me in disbelief and disappointment and the other one in encouragement. i tuned both of them out because i was determined and i applied for that very unhealthy job.

i did it because i was scared. i was desperate. i was high on waffle house coffee, pure adrenaline and the spontaneity that comes from being young the night that i applied. we were sitting there, in waffle house, and emily jokingly suggested that i apply at this place. we all laughed, but i pondered the idea for about 45 seconds then jumped out of the booth and declared that i was going to do it. they didnt think i was serious, and neither did i. finally i convinced emily to drive me there, and we were off. on our way to do something kind of stupid, but kind of mature. i shook a little inside. leslie screamed at me the entire way there. i thought it was the end. i thought that this night, this gross decision i had just made would be the thing that ruined our friendship. i wasnt very confident she would ever forgive me. but i knew i had to do it. it was going to be a good thing if i got that job, and leslie would forgive me.

but that was then, this is now. the regret and nervousness has set in. i do not want to associate myself so closely with a place i'm so strongly against. which makes very grateful that my stepfather and i went out last night to get some other applications. it's taken a lot of pressure off. and it also means as of now, eleven business, i believe, have my information. while that's a good thing, i'm so dang tired of the process...

you have to tell every little detail about yourself by filling out a twenty (roughly) page application and then -if you're lucky- a 75 question online survey filled with "what would you do if..." and "what does it mean that *insert a string of professional business terms here*?" questions which really stink if you're as indecisive and ignorant as me. i thought about attaching a vile of my blood to the back of each application so that they could further test me. you know, just in case the boatload of information i gave wasnt enough.

if no one hires me, i'm leaving the state.

that's all.


  1. You applied at 11 other places!? I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! Its about time todd took you out to do it :) and don't worry about "the place that shall not be named." Even if they do call you back. you can say no. :) you should say no. I'm glad it inspired you to apply at OTHER places. And if no one hires you, you can always live in my basement.

  2. Don't leave the state. I'll hire you...for something. :)
    I've been thinking about getting a job recently, since I now can legally drive myself around. But I'm a little intimidated. Maybe I'll find a bookstore or something. :)


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