Friday, September 20, 2013

a change

I don't think love is that confusing anymore. I used to think it was like a magical, mutual spell that came over two people and they would realize a bunch of things and go through certain steps before it was official, and then once it was, it was for life. but I don't think that's it. maybe love isn't a spell or a magical occurrence that's so special it only happens once. maybe it's not butterflies and laughter and happy movies. maybe love isn't super easy and obvious. maybe it's freaking hard. maybe it takes a lot of work and care. I think loving someone, whether you're in love with them or you just love them because you care, is very basically an agreement or a even a promise that you make to yourself without realizing that you'll be with them and for them no matter what. no matter what people say, no matter how badly they lied to you, no matter how much or many times they broke your heart. their little flaws, big ones, favorite cereals, favorite socks, least favorite movies, pet peeves, opinions, aspirations, you love it all because you decided that you love that person and you want to be next to them. love is maybe just an agreement to stick with someone no matter what. to want to be with them or at least near them. to know their secrets. to know what makes them mad. to want to take care of them and be there when they're happy or to be the first and last person to say I love you and to be the happiest when they're succeeding. 

maybe it's not a majestic moment when it happens. not to say that it doesn't feel majestic in the moment, but it doesn't always have to be. love might just be the first person you think of when you think of anything, and the person who's been there all along. who's always there for you. the person you keep going back to. the one you can't and don't want to get over. 
maybe it's actually not so complicated and maybe it just happens and you don't realize it's there until they're walking away from you.

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only the shallow know themselves. -oscar wilde